Waters of Anxiety

Hello friends,

Sorry for my absence again the mental health hydra has been raging and I've basically been lost in the fight against it. I hope to get back to posting, I have some book writ up to do for books I read last year, and just other post ideas I've had kicking around for months. 

Speaking of months it is poetry month and I decided since I'm already on the subject of my mental health I'd share a poem I recently wrote one morning when I was dying for sleep cause the lack of sleep I'd got the day before coupled with this nights lack of sleep was wrecking my anxiety, and family member who's a grumpy bear when they wake up kind snipped at me , so this lead to me breaking down in tears cause I was suffering, I felt like I was getting on my loved ones nerves, and just felt really lonely in that moment of pain. Now before you say it I know I'm not the only one who has this. I'm the fourth generation in my family one side to have problems as well as my sister, I have friends who have it, but you still can feel lonely especially when the usual supports kinda are getting strained under the struggle of wanting to help you and not knowing how and when you try to lean on them and they just make you feel this is truly a lonely battle.

Waters of Anxiety
Thoughts crushing thoughts
Drowning in the mind stream
Choking on the thought leaves
Fears racing
Panic rising
Clutching painfully on your heart
All your life lines seem spent
Nothing to grasp
Even the bad paths are closed to you
As you wail against the waves
Salty waters made deeper by salty tears
You know your not the only one over board
But they can't touch your plight
So you go on wailing and drowning

Well good to post anew. If any of you struggle I hope you know your know you're not alone, keep up the fight, and your fraking awesome. Have a good week, stay strong, and God bless you!

*Thrifty Geek*

One Night After Filming

 Happy Monday Friends,

This week I decided to close National Poetry Month with one last poem about one night in college.

One Night After Filming

Another long filming day wraps
So they all make their way home
Leaving me here... All alone
Stranded in this cabin in the woods
Guarder of horribly expensive movie equipment
Upstairs the doors locked and lights shut off
I take refuge in the lit basement game room
For a long night of pool playing

I throw a CD on that sweet player
To scare away the lonely feeling
To drive out the silence of the night
For awhile it's just the music
And the clank of balls
All is good
Nothing bad
Time for a new disc
I walk past the sliding doors bathed in darkness
As I cast a glance out
I find a face stares back from without...

I wonder what would have happened if I'd died that night?
What would my class have thought
When my body was discovered the next morning?
Would they know the culprit that stopped my heat
Was just a curious fox

Yeah that happened. I still find it amusing. Hope your tangles with nature are less hair raising and may God bless you!

Ninja <[0000]---------------[0000]> Writer and Vampire >vv< Kitty

Man with Holes in His Hands

Happy Good Friday my friends,

It's time for another poem this one is perfect for the Easter holiday!\

Man with Holes in His Hands

A day of hope
Welcomed by birds' songs
Revealing greens and colored petals
The hazy moon floats through a sea
Of pink and baby blue
This beautiful morning we remember
A Man with healing hands

More than 2,000 years prior
This Man dragged his cross
To be place on a hill between two thieves
There to hang till death
To save us all
To give us hope
Precious blood flowing
Draining from nailed hands

Over 2,000 years today
A stone had been rolled away
Wrappings of death found empty
Death is beaten
He has risen
Yes it's really He
Feel the holes in His hands

I have to wonder
Was it like this when they went to the tomb
On this day of resurrection
When we hide those symbols of new life
Like our own renewal
A  gift of grace from
A Man with holes in his hands

If you celebrate Easter have a blessed one, if not have a blessed day anyway! God bless you!
Ninja <[0000]---------------[0000]> Writer and Vampire >vv< Kitty

My Reflection in a Stormy Night

 Happy Friday Friends,

I'm currently having computer issues, fun. Hopefully I'll be getting my new PC soon and we can get back to normal here. So for your reading pleasure, here's this week's poetry offering:

My Reflection in a Stormy Night

Lighting illuminates the downpour
Crackling the atmosphere bringing thunder
The air filled with turmoil
Like my mind, my emotions
Inner demons lashing out
Nature ripping through all
As fears and emotions tear through me

I hope you guys have a good weekend, write or read some poetry, and may God bless you!
Ninja <[0000]---------------[0000]> Writer

Listen Up It's National Poetry Month

 Happy Almost Friday my friends,

It's National Poetry Month and last year I posted a poem of mine each week, so I thought I'd repeat that again. Up first is a short but sweet poem about a day I'm pretty sure God was trying to get my attention:

Listen Up

Sometimes God speaks to me
But I don't always get the message
He wants me to listen to the music
He's got playing in my head
But I change my channel
So He puts it on the grocery store speakers
As if to say "Listen up child these words are for you."

Do you guys have any special poetic events happening near you this month? Perhaps your doing something special, please let me know it the comments!

Hope you have a poetic day, remember to keep those library cards up to date, and may God bless you!
Ninja <[0000]---------------[0000]> Writer and Vampire >vv< Kitty